Thursday, May 06, 2010

The best things in life are free...

...perhaps. But so are some of the worst.

I give you exhibit A, one of the more laughable letters I've ever received which arrived in the mailbox the other day from Provo's local newspaper, the Daily Herald. I opened the letter and unfolded the piece of paper inside which proudly proclaimed in a big, bold, fancy font:


From the letter: "We are starting a special free program in your area called 'Daily Herald Deals'. Through this program you can get the Sunday Advertisements delivered to your home completely FREE!"

Whoa, whoa. Hold on. Are you telling me I can get advertisements...and not even have to PAY for them? Get right the freak out of town! Hell I'd pay upwards of $100 a month for an extra crapload of advertisements to be delivered to my house. And I thought I was living large with the 5 lbs. of rainforest-depleting ads I get stuffed into my mailbox for free everyday from the postal service. Next you're gonna tell me that Comcast is going to get rid of those annoying show segments between commercials and not even raise their rates. Weeee!

I can just imagine the meeting where this idea was initially pitched...

"Times are tough, we need out-of-the-box ideas to save money...anyone?" "I've got it! We eliminate the national news, local news, business, sports, weather, opinion, classified ad, event, movie, lifestyle, tv listing, and health sections. The cost savings will be huge!" "I like it! You think anyone will notice?" "Not a chance."