Since my last post I've probably thought up at least a dozen new gripes. But I always forget what they are when I get an opportunity to write about them. I will try to do better - these things need to be documented! :)

But I did remember one today. Have you noticed how the length of a person's voicemail instructions on their cell phone seems to be getting longer and longer? The notion of voicemail has been around, in essence, since PhoneMate introduced the Model 400 answering machine in 1971. I guess what I'm getting at, 35 years later, is there anyone on the face of our great planet who is capable of placing a phone call but who doesn't understand how to leave a message? You hear the beep, you leave a message, you hang up. Shouldn't the instructions be getting shorter by now? Or better yet, no instructions at all, just the beep?

But for some inexplicable reason a typical greeting, when someone doesn't answer their phone, goes something like this:

"Hello. You have reached the voice mailbox of (person says their name). If you would like to leave a message, please wait for the tone. Now, since you really have no choice but to wait for the tone, we'd like to take this opportunity to give you some useless options. But first, a little about voice mail. Voicemail is a revolutionary idea that allows you to leave a message when someone either is not available, or simply chooses not to answer their phone, which that person is then able to retrieve and listen to at a later time. Pretty neat, huh? You may now press # if you're ready to continue. Did you press it? Just kidding...gotcha! Oh, by the way, press 2 if you'd like to leave a numeric page. Now there's a useful feature. Never mind that your number is automatically recorded on their phone when you call. Plus, no one really wants to know why you're calling, so a primitive numeric page is a nice alternative to an informative voice message. Let's see here, what else before I give you the tone. Oh yeah, if you're you, please press # now for a whole bunch more options. I'll give you an extra 10 seconds to comply. (10 seconds) (beep)."

It's maddening really. All voicemail should work the same. The phone picks up, you have like 1 or 2 seconds to push a special key, such as the # key for any special options, and then there should be the tone...and that's it. No message, no greeting, no nothing. Perhaps someday...(sigh)