Friday, June 02, 2006

I swing by the Target last night to pick up some personal hygene products. My last "tube" of toothpaste (it was more like...a bottle or something) finally ran out. I didn't care for it. In fact, I don't think I've liked my last, oh, 20 toothpaste choices in-a-row.

Here's the problem. You'd think that with enough experimentation you could settle on one toothpaste that you like and just go with it. But apparently the toothpaste industry is pretty cutthroat competition-wise because they are constantly "innovating" with their products. I use quotes because I don't really consider a more obnoxious printing of the word "WHITENING" or a shiner, sparklier (more sparkly?) box to be true innovation. The innovation is so intense that by the time my previous tube runs out, it's an entirely different line up of offerings from every company.

So I stand there, looking over this incredible myriad of entire aisle, in fact, of tooth-care goops of one variety or another. The only thing they all have in common is the word "whitening". A toothpaste company would not dare omit that word printed all obnoxious-like somewhere on the box. I'm convinced they don't whiten at all...because I've been using "whitening" toothpastes for years and my teeth look the same shade of tooth-color as ever. But that's a topic for another gripe. :)

Oh man, what do I get? Baking soda kind? The one with Scope incorporated for minty-fresh breath? That's never a bad thing. Oooh...this one whitenes and makes your teeth shiny. It is kind of a drag running around with matte teeth. Tartal control? Do I even have tartar? Probably I guess. Dahh, what to do???

Ultimately, after 3 or 4 rounds up and down the aisle, I just say "screw it" and grab the shiniest box and take off. Then I endure what I know will be some gross taste with weird texture, hope for the best oral-hygene-wise...and then do it all over again a month or two later. :)