For the LOVE, people. "Loose" does not equal "lose". You don't loose your mind. You don't loose a game of checkers. You LOSE them! LOSE LOSE LOSE. I see this all the time...and someone needs to say something. :)

"Pardon me while I blow my noose." No one seems to have a problem with that. So what is it about loose and lose?

Just stop it!

Is there anything more pointless than asking, "Can I ask you a question?" Man that bugs me. :) And people do it too. I just heard someone ask it, prompting this entry.

Hey retarded time-wasting pointless question askers...just ask your real question! Has anyone in the history of time ever EVER responded to the question "Can I ask you a question?" with "No."? NO!

I'm as unhappy as the next guy about Utah gas stations' apparent gouging of the consumer (my car gets a not-so-Geo-Metroish 17 mpg). I'm not sure what the solution to the problem is, but I can tell you what's NOT the solution. Watching the news tonight, I see that someone has proposed the infamous, if not completely futile, gas boycott.

"If everyone just doesn't buy any gas for one day, we'll flex our collective consumer spending muscles and FORCE them to lower prices." Ahhh, this is so mind-numbingly stupid an idea that I can hardly stand it. :) Let's break it down...

First, not everyone puts gas in their car everyday. Not every OTHER day either. So what that means, is on a given day, most people are not putting gas in their car ANYWAY. And the people who are putting gas in their car on a given day are not doing so just so they'll have extra gas ready just in case they want to go on a long, trivial drive somewhere. No, it's so they'll have gas to get where they need to go. Like to work, for example.

Let's pretend for a moment that everyone is stupid and they go along with this idea. Most won't need to put any gas in anyway, like we've discussed. Those who are close to empty will most likely put some gas in the day before. So that leaves those who will run OUT on the boycott day, and I'm guessing the vast majority of those people, rather than get stranded on the side of the road somewhere, will just say "screw this idea" and go and get some gas anyway.

I guess what I'm saying is, with the extra gas bought the day before, and the day after, it would just all even out anyway and the net effect is that it would do ZERO damage to the oil companies.

Here's what we would need to do. If it were possible for everyone to participate in the following, I believe it WOULD have an effect on the oil companies. Rather than have a "don't buy any gas" day, we should have a "no one drive their car" day, or better yet a week, or a month. If it were possible for everyone to walk or ride their bike or even use mass transit, this is gas that would never be used, and consequently concrete revenue that the oil companies would never see.

But alas...organizing and executing something of this magnitude is a near impossibility...

Looks like my gas light is on, I guess I'm off to the Chevron. Ooh, ooh, $2.79...a steal! :)

Here's a gripe for ya. On Friday morning, Sep. 8th, some a-hole, probably on their cell phone, wasn't paying attention and hit and killed my poor cat, Wudang, on Main St. just in front of my house. I found her on the road that morning as I was pulling out to go to work. I gathered her body and then buried her Sat. morning in Provo Canyon.

Wudang was probably my favorite cat, and I've had a few. She was 2 1/2 years old, and I had her since she was an 8 week old kitten, fragile and small enough to fit entirely in the palm of one hand. Here is a picture of her very soon after I brought her home for the first time...



She was a beautiful Siamese breed with pretty blue eyes. I get bummed still when I think of what happened and how I found her, so I will leave it at this. R.I.P. Wudang. Maybe they'll feed you better than the plain ol' dry cat food on the other side. :)

Head On: Apply Directly to the Forehead
Head On: Apply Directly to the Forehead
Head On: Apply Directly to the Forehead

Ahhh!!!

If I see that commercial one more time, I am going to apply my foot directly to the television screen. :)

Have you ever been at like...a family reunion or somewhere where there's lots of old-timers, bless their hearts, that sit around and reminisce about the "good old days"? And inevitably the subject of what things "used to cost" will come up...

"Why, I remember back when gas cost a nickle a gallon...a NICKLE!"

"I paid $13,000 for my first house."

"I bought my first car, brand new, for $500...and that's a fact."

I remember thinking...man, what the heck happened to the world?? Life used to be so EASY and CHEAP. Then I learned about a little phenomenon called inflation.

So now all I can think about when I hear these types of conversations is how they are conveniently omitting one small little detail...how much their WAGES were back then. Why do we never hear this conversation?

"Why, I remember back when I worked myself ragged everyday for a measly 15 cents an hour. Boy those sure were the bad old days..."

My next gripe is aimed squarely at Subway Sandwiches. Seems like I've had a lot of fast-food related gripes lately...don't take this to be indicative of my eating habits. Okay, take it to be indicative. I have a problem, I know. But that is beside the point...back to Subway.

Subway, eat fresh, make it your way, blah blah, all good and fine. Subway sandwiches are good, no question...but I think they've become a little bit TOO flexible in their sandwich-building process. I mean, you look up at the board and they have all these named sandwiches, tons of 'em. And that's great. But what you don't realize is that, with the exception of one item, the meat, you can turn any sandwich into any OTHER sandwich.

For example. Let's say you want the Tuscan Chicken Sandwich. Sounds pretty good, right? It did to me too. The picture looked scrumptious, in fact. Then comes the onslaught of options. "What kind of bread?" "What kind of cheese?" "Toasted?" "What vegetables?" On and on.

Through all this it occurs to me...what exactly makes this sandwich a Tuscan Chicken one anyway? So far it's just just a chicken sub sandwich with whatever the hell I want on it. So I ask...

"What exactly GOES on this so-called Tuscan Chicken sandwich anyway?"

"Oh, did you want the special Tuscan sauce?"

Um, yeah. Why on earth would they just assume that you know how to make their sandwiches? I asked for the Tuscan Chicken Sandwich, just freaking make me a TUSCAN CHICKEN SANDWICH!! :)

You know what Subway needs? They need to just have defaults on all their sandwiches, but express to you at the beginning that you can substitute anything you want. Not only would this make things easier, but it would speed up the line a little bit too, 'cause let's face it...Subway ain't exactly Wendy's. Maybe I'll fire this gripe off to their HQ as an email...

I go to Fazoli's the other day for lunch. Being one of...great appetite I am naturally drawn to the dish called the Ultimate Sampler. I quickly skim their combo meal menu for the number that corresponds to what would most likely be called the Ultimate Sampler Combo, but find none. After shooing away the elderly breadstick lady for the 3rd time, I spot the Classic Sampler Combo on the board. That's pretty close, I think to myself, surely the ultimate variety of the combo is available...

"I'll take the ultimate sampler combo meal please..."

But all I get from the poor girl working behind the counter is a "deer in the headlights" look. Funny, did I stutter? Accidently order in Spanish? What's going on here?

"See the #1 combo meal. The classic sampler combo? I'd like that, only make it the ultimate sampler."

"Umm...I don't think we can do that, let me ask."

(wait 30 seconds)

"Sorry sir, you can only get the classic sampler in a combo meal. Is that what you'd like to get today?"

I'm sure this has happened to you before. Combo meals were a good idea when they were first introduced back in the day...but for the love of all that is greasy and unecessarily calorie ridden...give your employees some menu flexibility in the name of customer service. SHEESH!

Okay I've said my peace. I think I ended up just getting the Club Submarino, like I always do, instead. (excellent sandwich, BTW). :)

I swing by the Target last night to pick up some personal hygene products. My last "tube" of toothpaste (it was more like...a bottle or something) finally ran out. I didn't care for it. In fact, I don't think I've liked my last, oh, 20 toothpaste choices in-a-row.

Here's the problem. You'd think that with enough experimentation you could settle on one toothpaste that you like and just go with it. But apparently the toothpaste industry is pretty cutthroat competition-wise because they are constantly "innovating" with their products. I use quotes because I don't really consider a more obnoxious printing of the word "WHITENING" or a shiner, sparklier (more sparkly?) box to be true innovation. The innovation is so intense that by the time my previous tube runs out, it's an entirely different line up of offerings from every company.

So I stand there, looking over this incredible myriad of choices...an entire aisle, in fact, of tooth-care goops of one variety or another. The only thing they all have in common is the word "whitening". A toothpaste company would not dare omit that word printed all obnoxious-like somewhere on the box. I'm convinced they don't whiten at all...because I've been using "whitening" toothpastes for years and my teeth look the same shade of tooth-color as ever. But that's a topic for another gripe. :)

Oh man, what do I get? Baking soda kind? The one with Scope incorporated for minty-fresh breath? That's never a bad thing. Oooh...this one whitenes and makes your teeth shiny. It is kind of a drag running around with matte teeth. Tartal control? Do I even have tartar? Probably I guess. Dahh, what to do???

Ultimately, after 3 or 4 rounds up and down the aisle, I just say "screw it" and grab the shiniest box and take off. Then I endure what I know will be some gross taste with weird texture, hope for the best oral-hygene-wise...and then do it all over again a month or two later. :)

I fire up Yahoo's page this morning and in their "In the News" section I see this headline: "Lower income may mean higher stress". Lower income may mean higher stress? Are you kidding me? So let me make sure I have this straight...it took some scientists and who knows how much taxpayer money to determine that it just MIGHT be stressful to find an eviction notice on your door, or to wonder where your next meal will come from?

Unbelievable. I'm guessing the next study's findings will be something like "Scientists have found that having mountains of cash helps to pay bills on time." Pure genius. :)