It's "don't buy gas today" day. Yay! This is so going to work. Wait, why are there cars at all the pumps this morning at Maverik? I don't get it, it is such a good idea...
Oops, not it's not. :)
I've already done a gripe entry on this very topic, so I won't expound. But it's just fascinating to me how such a terrible idea has such amazing survival-power. It is the Madagascar Hissing Cockroach of ideas. No, it is the Tahitian Noni Juice of ideas. Anyone with an IQ over 20 knows it doesn't work, but there are just enough morons that buy into it to keep it around.
This is my meager attempt at a "The don't-buy-gas-for-one-day idea blows" campaign. Spread the word, people. Why, if you emailed 10 friends, and they emailed 10 friends, and then they turned right around and emailed 10 of their friends...everyone in the known universe would catch wind of this in like 15 min. If you don't understand the math it's okay, trust me I'm a mathematician. (note sarcasm)
Actually, I think I'm gonna go drive around the block 400 times. Whatever it takes to be able to fill up multiple times today. If it counters a simpleton's efforts to the contrary, and somehow helps to make this idea go away once and for all...well then it would have been worth it, despite the now hefty sum it takes to fill my rig. :)
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Monday, April 30, 2007
Orange barrels are the DEVIL
Tractors, cones, barrels, signs
And everything inbetween
Half of our streets are all FUBAR'd to hell
But nary a worker is seen
And everything inbetween
Half of our streets are all FUBAR'd to hell
But nary a worker is seen
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Pennies suck
I hate pennies. Every time I see a penny sitting somewhere it shouldn't be I am faced with a dilemma. A penny is essentially a piece of garbage...but I can't bring myself to throw them away 'cause technically it's money. Who throws away money? (literally, I mean) Yes, I have a loose (notice the correct usage of the word "loose") change jar at home, but I don't even want to go through the effort of packing the stupid thing around 'cause I hate having any change anywhere on my person.
So, in short...pennies suck. Enough with the pennies. Quit making 'em!
So, in short...pennies suck. Enough with the pennies. Quit making 'em!
Monday, April 16, 2007
How quickly we forget
"Worst shooting massacre in U.S. history"
That's what I'm seeing printed all over the place (in reference to today's shooting at Virgina Tech). But how can they say that? I'm sure there are others, but the Mountain Meadows Massacre comes to mind right off, as an example of a more deadly shooting massacre in U.S. history. "Sources estimate that between 100 and 140 men, women and children were killed."
Nice work, media. Way to sensationalize a tragedy by printing this grossly inaccurate statement...most likely simply because the other guy did. Traffic, readers, and viewers apparently are more important than accuracy. I try to remember that whenever I watch the news or read the paper...
That's what I'm seeing printed all over the place (in reference to today's shooting at Virgina Tech). But how can they say that? I'm sure there are others, but the Mountain Meadows Massacre comes to mind right off, as an example of a more deadly shooting massacre in U.S. history. "Sources estimate that between 100 and 140 men, women and children were killed."
Nice work, media. Way to sensationalize a tragedy by printing this grossly inaccurate statement...most likely simply because the other guy did. Traffic, readers, and viewers apparently are more important than accuracy. I try to remember that whenever I watch the news or read the paper...
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
A Cornucopia of Gripes
Gripe fans rejoice. I got three quickies that have been bugging me. I don't even know if there is such a thing as a gripe fan..but if you're out there, this is for you.
Gripe one: The workers at Gandolfos. Specifically the one by my house (800 N State St. in Orem). Gandolfos makes a nice sandwich. That is, when they don't load it up with that nasty cream cheese-like concoction. This, of course, can be easily avoided with careful sandwich selection...but that is a topic for another entry. What bothers me most is the complete and utter indifference the employees emanate towards you as you stand there, under the "Order Here" sign, in various states of hunger and/or haste. There is never anyone actually behind the counter when you arrive. They are all in the back "making sandwiches". And it's not like they don't see me. I usually make eye contact with 2 or 3 of them before someone finally takes upon them self the apparent chore of providing a little customer service. That is to say, their job. I can only imagine what is going through their minds as they are looking at me..."Hmm. There's some fidgety person under the 'Order Here' sign who has his wallet out and keeps looking at his watch...wonder what he wants?".
Oh silly me. They have a bell there. Clearly I should just ring it, right? Well, I've never been much of a bell ringer, to be honest, and I just don't see why my simple presence 2 feet from their point of sale isn't enough to spur them to action when they can see me. Perhaps they have a general Gandolfos loitering problem that I am unaware of...and hence company policy is that it takes both a body and a bell ring before service can be rendered?
And to add insult to injury...there is a freaking tips jar on the counter. A TIPS jar! I can't believe they have the audacity to place one of those bad boys there. A tip for what? Making my sandwich is what you get paid for. I guess it comes as no surprise there is only $1 ever in there when I look, probably placed there by a Gandolfos employee to "get the ball rolling".
Man oh man that place bugs. Maybe I'll try the Springville one close to my work...
Gripe two: Theater concession workers. Specifically the ones at the Provo Town Center, err, I mean, the Provoe Tonwe Centre. However it's spelled. :) If ever there were a minimum-wage making bunch, this is your group right here.
A typical encounter goes like this: "Yes, I'll take a small popcorn and a medium diet coke." "A large drink is only 25 cents more." "No thanks." "Are you sure?" "Yes, I'm sure, if I drink a large one then I have to pee really bad before the end of the movie." If you explain the pee thing then you don't get asked a third time. A little trick I learned, as well as the truth. ;) "Would you like butter on your popcorn?" "Yes." (worker gets small popcorn bag, fills with popcorn, and then turns around...7 seconds has passed) "I'm sorry, did you say you wanted butter on your popcorn?" "Yes." (worker proceeds to pour butter onto the popcorn at the top of the bag in such a way as to maximize the likelihood that hot liquid oil butter will get all over at least one side of the bag) "Here you go. That will be...$35 (or whatever the ripoff price of the day is)".
What happens next has always been a mystery to me. The concession worker, rather than just politely hand you your stuff, or at the very least give it a little push across the counter closer to you, instead places your stuff on the counter next to himself. That is to say, the far side of the counter from your perspective. And then begins to look off into space and pretend that you never existed. What the? You then have to reach over and get the stuff yourself. Can someone please explain this behavior to me? If you're lucky you'll get a "enjoy your show". But the norm is the spaced ignore look. Bizarre. All I can say is they're dang lucky there are suckers like me that will not only put up with that, but pay a premium to do so. :) I have no excuse for myself...
Gripe three: People filling up their fountain drinks. I'm not sure what it is about soda dispensing fountains at restaurants that brings out this strange sense of pompous entitlement in otherwise polite, decent folks. You all know what I'm talking about. :) You've finished your meal, and you just want a quick half-cup refill before you take off. You waltz up to the fountain all in a hurry like, only to find some lady filling up not only her drink, but 6 other cups as well. There's more than enough room for both people to fill their drinks, with a little shuffling of bodies. But it doesn't go down like that. Oh no. She's set up camp, baby, right smack in the middle of the fountain, and she's boxing any attempt on your part to encroach. It doesn't matter that you've tested the waters, so to speak, by temporarily invading her personal space to let her know of your desire, in the off chance she'd do the proper thing and move over a little. It simply doesn't happen. So there you stand with nary a thing to do, parched and anxious, your buddies at the door ready to leave...and just wait.
But it gets better (worse). This lady is not satisfied until the empty cup space to ice volume ratio in every cup meets a most demanding measure of precision. And she'd sooner be damned straight to hell than let so much as a 1/16th of an inch of space from the brim of the cup to the start of the soda exist. And so the charade goes. Fill, wait for bubbles to disperse. Fill, wait for bubbles to disperse. Fill, wait for bubbles to disperse. Slowly put on lid and set cup aside. Repeat. Times 6.
AHHHH!!! Maddening. Just maddening. I think I'm losing it. :)
Whew, that felt good. Cross three more gripes off the list. Okay, I'm off to bed...
Gripe one: The workers at Gandolfos. Specifically the one by my house (800 N State St. in Orem). Gandolfos makes a nice sandwich. That is, when they don't load it up with that nasty cream cheese-like concoction. This, of course, can be easily avoided with careful sandwich selection...but that is a topic for another entry. What bothers me most is the complete and utter indifference the employees emanate towards you as you stand there, under the "Order Here" sign, in various states of hunger and/or haste. There is never anyone actually behind the counter when you arrive. They are all in the back "making sandwiches". And it's not like they don't see me. I usually make eye contact with 2 or 3 of them before someone finally takes upon them self the apparent chore of providing a little customer service. That is to say, their job. I can only imagine what is going through their minds as they are looking at me..."Hmm. There's some fidgety person under the 'Order Here' sign who has his wallet out and keeps looking at his watch...wonder what he wants?".
Oh silly me. They have a bell there. Clearly I should just ring it, right? Well, I've never been much of a bell ringer, to be honest, and I just don't see why my simple presence 2 feet from their point of sale isn't enough to spur them to action when they can see me. Perhaps they have a general Gandolfos loitering problem that I am unaware of...and hence company policy is that it takes both a body and a bell ring before service can be rendered?
And to add insult to injury...there is a freaking tips jar on the counter. A TIPS jar! I can't believe they have the audacity to place one of those bad boys there. A tip for what? Making my sandwich is what you get paid for. I guess it comes as no surprise there is only $1 ever in there when I look, probably placed there by a Gandolfos employee to "get the ball rolling".
Man oh man that place bugs. Maybe I'll try the Springville one close to my work...
Gripe two: Theater concession workers. Specifically the ones at the Provo Town Center, err, I mean, the Provoe Tonwe Centre. However it's spelled. :) If ever there were a minimum-wage making bunch, this is your group right here.
A typical encounter goes like this: "Yes, I'll take a small popcorn and a medium diet coke." "A large drink is only 25 cents more." "No thanks." "Are you sure?" "Yes, I'm sure, if I drink a large one then I have to pee really bad before the end of the movie." If you explain the pee thing then you don't get asked a third time. A little trick I learned, as well as the truth. ;) "Would you like butter on your popcorn?" "Yes." (worker gets small popcorn bag, fills with popcorn, and then turns around...7 seconds has passed) "I'm sorry, did you say you wanted butter on your popcorn?" "Yes." (worker proceeds to pour butter onto the popcorn at the top of the bag in such a way as to maximize the likelihood that hot liquid oil butter will get all over at least one side of the bag) "Here you go. That will be...$35 (or whatever the ripoff price of the day is)".
What happens next has always been a mystery to me. The concession worker, rather than just politely hand you your stuff, or at the very least give it a little push across the counter closer to you, instead places your stuff on the counter next to himself. That is to say, the far side of the counter from your perspective. And then begins to look off into space and pretend that you never existed. What the? You then have to reach over and get the stuff yourself. Can someone please explain this behavior to me? If you're lucky you'll get a "enjoy your show". But the norm is the spaced ignore look. Bizarre. All I can say is they're dang lucky there are suckers like me that will not only put up with that, but pay a premium to do so. :) I have no excuse for myself...
Gripe three: People filling up their fountain drinks. I'm not sure what it is about soda dispensing fountains at restaurants that brings out this strange sense of pompous entitlement in otherwise polite, decent folks. You all know what I'm talking about. :) You've finished your meal, and you just want a quick half-cup refill before you take off. You waltz up to the fountain all in a hurry like, only to find some lady filling up not only her drink, but 6 other cups as well. There's more than enough room for both people to fill their drinks, with a little shuffling of bodies. But it doesn't go down like that. Oh no. She's set up camp, baby, right smack in the middle of the fountain, and she's boxing any attempt on your part to encroach. It doesn't matter that you've tested the waters, so to speak, by temporarily invading her personal space to let her know of your desire, in the off chance she'd do the proper thing and move over a little. It simply doesn't happen. So there you stand with nary a thing to do, parched and anxious, your buddies at the door ready to leave...and just wait.
But it gets better (worse). This lady is not satisfied until the empty cup space to ice volume ratio in every cup meets a most demanding measure of precision. And she'd sooner be damned straight to hell than let so much as a 1/16th of an inch of space from the brim of the cup to the start of the soda exist. And so the charade goes. Fill, wait for bubbles to disperse. Fill, wait for bubbles to disperse. Fill, wait for bubbles to disperse. Slowly put on lid and set cup aside. Repeat. Times 6.
AHHHH!!! Maddening. Just maddening. I think I'm losing it. :)
Whew, that felt good. Cross three more gripes off the list. Okay, I'm off to bed...
Friday, March 30, 2007
Anti-Mormon Nonsense
I like to think I'm tolerant of other people's beliefs. It goes back to the ol' Golden Rule. I'll believe what I want to, you believe what you want to, let's not force our beliefs on each other and everybody wins.
So as the LDS general conference approaches and the corresponding spike in anti-Mormon propaganda, it just leaves me scratching my head a little bit as to what these people's motivation could possibly be. Take "too small shirt with bullhorn" guy, for example. Anyone who has taken the stroll to the Conference Center to attend a session knows just who I'm talking about. I guess what he's trying to say is "your religion is false, you're all going to hell". But whatever his message is, in whatever form he tries to deliver it, it completely escapes me. The only thing I think, in those precious few moments as I walk by, is "my man...it's uncanny how astronomically insignificant your life is." And then a split second later I am thinking about what's on the menu for dinner afterwards. :)
Basically my model of the belief spectrum goes like this...on one end you have people who believe good things. Next comes the people who believe bad things. And at the crap end you've got the people who only believe that what you believe are bad things...and for some inexplicable reason even take action on that belief. It's ludicrous.
Hey bullhorn guy...what are you doing?? What's the point? Life is too short for this. Go watch a sunset and play with a puppy. And get a shirt that fits for crying out loud...
So as the LDS general conference approaches and the corresponding spike in anti-Mormon propaganda, it just leaves me scratching my head a little bit as to what these people's motivation could possibly be. Take "too small shirt with bullhorn" guy, for example. Anyone who has taken the stroll to the Conference Center to attend a session knows just who I'm talking about. I guess what he's trying to say is "your religion is false, you're all going to hell". But whatever his message is, in whatever form he tries to deliver it, it completely escapes me. The only thing I think, in those precious few moments as I walk by, is "my man...it's uncanny how astronomically insignificant your life is." And then a split second later I am thinking about what's on the menu for dinner afterwards. :)
Basically my model of the belief spectrum goes like this...on one end you have people who believe good things. Next comes the people who believe bad things. And at the crap end you've got the people who only believe that what you believe are bad things...and for some inexplicable reason even take action on that belief. It's ludicrous.
Hey bullhorn guy...what are you doing?? What's the point? Life is too short for this. Go watch a sunset and play with a puppy. And get a shirt that fits for crying out loud...
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Grand Canyon Skywalk
When I first heard about this, and saw the artist's conception drawing of it, I thought, "Oh boy, what an ill-conceived, tourist-trappy, sellout idea." Well apparently they finished the monstrosity and had the grand opening ceremony yesterday. Here are a couple pictures, first the conception drawing, and then an actual photo of the finished product:
Is anyone surprised that the conception drawing, while still a horrible idea, at least makes an attempt to be at harmony with the environment, while the finished product looks like some kind of hastily constructed Evel Knievel publicity stunt, completely desecrating one of the most serene and beautiful places on earth, yea, even one of the 7 natural wonders of the world. Just shameful.
And what really gets my goat, is that while I think it's a bad idea from top to bottom, at least if it did end up looking like the conception drawing it would kind of be a trip standing on a platform that stuck that far out (relatively). But they didn't even accomplish that. The finished product looks like it sticks out maybe half as far. All that effort and hoopla and fanfare for what? This thing is overflowing with anticlimax.
And one more thing. :) Even if it did stick out as far as in the drawing, the view from the floor (it's got a glass floor so you can look down to the canyon bottom) could not possibly warrant the $75 they are asking for one measily stroll around it. I may be going out on a limb here, but I'm guessing the view of the canyon is not that different from the rim, and from 65 feet from the rim.
Nice work, Hualapai. Way to completely sell out. What happened to all the "the land is sacred" BS that we get force fed in the movies these days? I hope it never makes back its unbelievable $30 million pricetag and sends a message to other would-be sellouts...
Is anyone surprised that the conception drawing, while still a horrible idea, at least makes an attempt to be at harmony with the environment, while the finished product looks like some kind of hastily constructed Evel Knievel publicity stunt, completely desecrating one of the most serene and beautiful places on earth, yea, even one of the 7 natural wonders of the world. Just shameful.
And what really gets my goat, is that while I think it's a bad idea from top to bottom, at least if it did end up looking like the conception drawing it would kind of be a trip standing on a platform that stuck that far out (relatively). But they didn't even accomplish that. The finished product looks like it sticks out maybe half as far. All that effort and hoopla and fanfare for what? This thing is overflowing with anticlimax.
And one more thing. :) Even if it did stick out as far as in the drawing, the view from the floor (it's got a glass floor so you can look down to the canyon bottom) could not possibly warrant the $75 they are asking for one measily stroll around it. I may be going out on a limb here, but I'm guessing the view of the canyon is not that different from the rim, and from 65 feet from the rim.
Nice work, Hualapai. Way to completely sell out. What happened to all the "the land is sacred" BS that we get force fed in the movies these days? I hope it never makes back its unbelievable $30 million pricetag and sends a message to other would-be sellouts...
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
I fire up Yahoo this morning, and happen to notice the top overall searches for the day. And who do I find in the top 6, but the no-talent skank triumvirate of Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, and Lindsay Lohan. I cannot, for the life of me, see what is so fascinating about these 3. There is no shortage of messed-up mildly attractive drunkard chicks running around. The only explanation I can come up with is it is a self-feeding frenzy, meaning, the more we see of them the more people WANT to see them...and the vicious cycle continues.
I, for one, couldn't be happier if I never saw or heard of any of them ever again. But there they were, in the top 6 most popular searches on the most popular website on the entire internet. There had to be an explanation. So I got thinking and I've come up with a theory, especially after I saw that the "WWE" also made the top 6.
I believe that we, as society, have totally messed up the fundamental evolutionary process of natural selection. For humans, that is. We have come up with so many ways to protect the stupid, e.g., seat belt laws, avalanche management, lifeguards, road closures, etc., that the "prone to off one's self" gene has been able to survive. Nay, has been able to flourish. And I believe this is the same gene that makes people like Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and crap like the WWE interesting to people. A few generations of this, a little exponential growth, and the next thing you know...look who winds up on the most popular search list.
Just a theory. :)
I, for one, couldn't be happier if I never saw or heard of any of them ever again. But there they were, in the top 6 most popular searches on the most popular website on the entire internet. There had to be an explanation. So I got thinking and I've come up with a theory, especially after I saw that the "WWE" also made the top 6.
I believe that we, as society, have totally messed up the fundamental evolutionary process of natural selection. For humans, that is. We have come up with so many ways to protect the stupid, e.g., seat belt laws, avalanche management, lifeguards, road closures, etc., that the "prone to off one's self" gene has been able to survive. Nay, has been able to flourish. And I believe this is the same gene that makes people like Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and crap like the WWE interesting to people. A few generations of this, a little exponential growth, and the next thing you know...look who winds up on the most popular search list.
Just a theory. :)
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
I got another word misuse pet peeve. I heard this on a sports talk show today: "I wanted to root for my alumni." I also remember hearing on another show something to the effect of "He is an alumni of (such and such university)". Since when did "alumni" become the one correct catch-all word when talking about people and the school they attended?
No, you don't root for your alumni, that makes no sense. You're not hoping that anyone who has ever gone to a particular university is having success in whatever endeavor they are currently involved in at the moment. You root for your ALMA MATER. No, a given person is not an alumni of a school, they are an ALUMNUS (singular) of that school.
It's like saying "I am a big fans of the Jazz". It sounds stupid. Now stop it. :)
No, you don't root for your alumni, that makes no sense. You're not hoping that anyone who has ever gone to a particular university is having success in whatever endeavor they are currently involved in at the moment. You root for your ALMA MATER. No, a given person is not an alumni of a school, they are an ALUMNUS (singular) of that school.
It's like saying "I am a big fans of the Jazz". It sounds stupid. Now stop it. :)
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
We've all heard this. It sounds nice...almost inspirational. But with a little thought, you realize it's a pretty stupid phrase. To illustrate, I'll use one of my favorite debating techniques, the always handy proof-by-counterexample...
How about if someone smacks you upside the face as hard as they can with a boat paddle? Probably won't kill you. Did it make you stronger? I would argue that it did not, in any way, make you stronger. Probably just a lot of pain, a severely damaged relationship, and perhaps a permanent mark.
How about a nasty bout with Leukemia? One which devastates your system to the point of NEAR-death. Unlikely you would be chosen 1st for the tug-o-war team.
And finally...let's say you have SEVERE case of facial acne. Doesn't kill you. Maybe you've learned to deal with it and continue to live your life...maybe even hit the inspirational speaking circuit to tell your story. Oops, no one will book you, don't want to give people nightmares with your scary-looking grill.
Now, in fairness, I think that I get the gist of the phrase. I guess I just take issue with the absoluteness of its tone. More appropriate, I believe, would be "SOME things that don't kill you make you stronger". But how un-inspirational does that sound? :)
We've all heard this. It sounds nice...almost inspirational. But with a little thought, you realize it's a pretty stupid phrase. To illustrate, I'll use one of my favorite debating techniques, the always handy proof-by-counterexample...
How about if someone smacks you upside the face as hard as they can with a boat paddle? Probably won't kill you. Did it make you stronger? I would argue that it did not, in any way, make you stronger. Probably just a lot of pain, a severely damaged relationship, and perhaps a permanent mark.
How about a nasty bout with Leukemia? One which devastates your system to the point of NEAR-death. Unlikely you would be chosen 1st for the tug-o-war team.
And finally...let's say you have SEVERE case of facial acne. Doesn't kill you. Maybe you've learned to deal with it and continue to live your life...maybe even hit the inspirational speaking circuit to tell your story. Oops, no one will book you, don't want to give people nightmares with your scary-looking grill.
Now, in fairness, I think that I get the gist of the phrase. I guess I just take issue with the absoluteness of its tone. More appropriate, I believe, would be "SOME things that don't kill you make you stronger". But how un-inspirational does that sound? :)
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